Not enough support?

I was listening to an interview on the radio yesterday about breast-feeding. The guest was a demographer who had studied recent trends in the number of nursing mothers (they're up). As the issue was discussed, she lamented the lack of support breast-feeding mothers find as they try to feed their babies what research has shown is the healthiest for them. I wasn't able to hear the entire story, but during the part I listened to, the lady specifically mentioned how there just aren't places set aside for women to breast-feed and that some are "stuck nursing in a dirty restroom stall."

I laughed at that and compared it to my own experience. That morning, I'd nursed Harmony during a meeting for new kindergarten parents. Last week, I'd nursed her during storytime at the library. In the past nine months, I've nursed her at the mall, at various museums, at the zoo, at Disneyland, at department stores, at a dinner party, in a car, and even as I walked up and down the grocery aisles shopping for our family's meals. No one's looked at me funny or made any comments. And when I'm nursing in public, I'm certainly not even thinking about whether or not I have enough "support." My baby's hungry or fussy and I feed her; it's as simple as that.

It seemed like the demographer thought if we could just set up a zen-like oasis in the middle of every public place where mothers could go for privacy, more mothers would feel support and decide to breast-feed.

I think whether or not there's a nursing room somewhere, mothers who breast-feed will find a way to do it. A commitment to the time, effort, and sacrifice required to provide the primary nourishment for her baby's first year is not going to change just because someone sticks a Lazyboy in a restroom somewhere.

I've had nearly six years experience nursing, including fourteen months nursing twins. In that time I've never found it difficult to find a place to do it, and I've never had anyone give me a second glance when I'm doing it. Of course I believe in modesty and discretely cover up while feeding my babies, but I also don't go out of my way to find a private place to do it.

I do realize, of course, that times have changed and that my mother was not so lucky. She gave birth to six children during the height of the feminist movement in the seventies and nursed us all for a year, despite going against the popular culture. Her two best friends at the time, also mothers, believed breast-feeding was "icky" and my mother did nurse us in many a private restroom stall because public opinion was so decidedly in favor of the new "scientific" formula-feeding.

I'm grateful that the tide has turned. Research since then has found again and again the benefits of breast-feeding, and most people are at least mildly supportive of the idea, if they think about it at all.

I agree with the researcher that it's important to be supportive of breast-feeding mothers, especially during the early weeks when it can be new, painful, and sometimes intimidating. But that support is best found in the form of an experienced friend or a caring professional, not in a movement to set up nursing rooms. I wonder if such an effort would have the opposite effect -- once a place is set up for nursing mothers and their babies to be separated from the masses when their baby is hungry, then a mother who chooses to feed in public might be glared at or the comment made, "We have places for you to do that, you know."

I guess I'm just happy with the status quo. I like feeding my baby when my baby is hungry, no matter where I'm at. I like that people hardly notice, and I certainly feel there's plenty of support for my choice.

Honestly, while I often get comments on the size of my family, I have never, in all my years of breast-feeding, ever gotten a comment, positive or negative, about breast-feeding. The one exception was when I was talking to another mother while nursing my twins under a blanket. When I was finished and pulled off the blanket, she exclaimed, "Wow, I didn't realize there were TWO in there!"

I realize that some mothers are unable to nurse for various reasons, and formula is a valid alternative that's not about to poison anyone (see this article for an interesting take on the subject; a little too polarizing for my taste, but interesting none the less). I would hope that they also feel supported in the choices they've made.

But I also know that my experience is limited to the Western United States, and that cultures differ in other parts of the U.S. and other parts of the world. What are attitudes like in your area of the world?