It was Friday, May 16th. I posted on one of the lotsofkids forums about taking an hpt. I was 10dpo by my chart. Originally, I wanted to wait until I was 12dpo before I tested. I tend to be a testaholic. I was able to wait until 10dpo, but not longer.
I looked at the stick. I saw the color wash over the test and thought I saw a line. This was not the first test I have taken in my 3+ years of ttc. I had thought I had seen a line before. Something was different. My eyes started to water and I saw nothing but double blurred test in my hands. I set the test down.
I collected my thoughts, cleared my head, and wiped my eyes. I was "fairly" calm when I picked up the test again. There were definitely 2 lines on that test aka a frer in ttc lingo. The test line was light, but it was there. I cried. And cried and cried and cried. I managed to post on the forum that there were two lines. I thanked God and commented that I was having trouble containing my happiness. IOW, I was not able to stop crying.
The next several days were a blur of happiness. I was able to say that I am pregnant and my baby, but I was having a rough time really believing it was true. I am happy to say that I have finally digested the whole thing. My hcg levels showed the baby was growing and a sono at 4 wks and 6 days showed a sac.
This past Monday (6/9), I had another sonogram. I was 7 weeks along that day. My oldest went with me and I pointed out to her that the little flicker n the screen was the heartbeat. She had trouble making anything out, but I have seen it all before. It was only a white blob on the screen with a heartbeat in it, but I knew what it was.
I have wanted this for so long. Now, I have the morning sickness that goes along with it. I have also had some spotting, but I know in the end that God will take care of me and this baby. I trust him and have given this to him. I know that whether he has in mind a baby to hold forever in my arms or just in my heart, he will help me through it. I have great peace in that.